hard to express just how I feel

I'm not really sure how I can do this email this week. It's going to be hard to express just how I feel right now. Honestly, this week was the hardest week I can remember. It started out with so much hope, as you saw from last week's letter. I wish I could say it was still that way, but right now I feel pretty hopeless. It seems that everything that I had hopes about has fallen apart. I'm sorry that this letter wont be a very cheery one. :\

So with the investigators that we were hoping would have baptismal dates, things have just come up that are preventing anything from happening. We can't even meet with either of them at the moment. And the Phillipina's husband is against her going to any church, so even if she does gain a testimony, we have no clue if anything could actually happen. 

And the lady that had a baptism date............. Well, we don't know what's going to happen. Her family also does not want her going to our church, and because of that she couldn't even come to church yesterday. We will be meeting with her today, but we've no clue if she can still be baptized this next week. 

Honestly, all six of us missionaries in Hogye are struggling right now. Poor Elder Charles is going home in two weeks, and he has been experiencing the same pattern for the past 2 years, where we have these huge miracles, but then nothing comes out of them. Somehow those God-sent people just fall of the face of the earth and lose contact with the missionaries. What's wrong? Is it something we as missionaries aren't doing right? Or is it just the hardness of the people in this mission? I don't know. I know there are miracles happening everywhere else, but it seems like we aren't seeing any results that we thought were sure to come. 

So sorry to send this email with absolutely no cheery news. But actually now that I think about it we did have one miracle this week. One of our investigators that has not wanted to meet anyone had lunch with our member and absolutely LOVED her. So we hope that they will be able to develop a relationship that will help her come to church. :)

Okay, so next week will let you know how it's going, if we had the baptism or not, and whether or not I have been able to strengthen my faith so that I can once again have hope for the future. That's what me and my companion will be striving for this week. I love you all and hope that you are better able to keep your hope even in the midst of trial. :) I really do know that we all have the potential to live with God again, and we really can become like Him. I still haven't lost hope in that fact. 

I love you. So much.

Sister Segovia

I'll still give an interesting fact of course: to start school and to end school all of the kids bow to their teacher. One kid in English class, when asked what his favorite part of school, said, "bowing time." Then, when asked what the worst part of school was, he said once again, "bowing time.. the first one." Haha! 

"His name shall be in their foreheads." - Revelations 22:4

So I have heard a lot about having Christ's name in our hearts. Especially as missionaries, we need to not only have His name on our name-tags, but in our hearts. However, when I read this scripture during personal study I realized that there's more to it. When we have Christ's name in our hearts, this represents our DESIRES. We desire to be like Him. But we must also put His name on our foreheads. Why the difference? Well, think about if someone has something on their forehead. That is the only thing that anyone would look at or care about, right? So if we have Christ's name on our foreheads, this represents our ACTIONS. We act in a way that even before people know our names, they can see that we are followers of Christ. I think I've got His name in my heart, but I'm still working on getting it to my forehead. :)